| Low
Self-Esteem - An Epedemic
Today self-worth
is determined by what society deems makes a person most worthy.
"We reserve our praise and admiration for those who have
been blessed with characteristics we value most highly."
Physical attractiveness, intellligence, and talents are ways that
we judge others and determine who is more valuable. It is no wonder
that children and adults alike are suffering from this epedemic.
Physical
Attractiveness
As soon as a baby is born, we are consumed by how he or she looks.
The baby is either beautiful or homely. Beautiful babies are put
on a pedastal; they recieve attention and win baby beauty pageants.
Children are keenly aware of how important physical attractiveness
is in evaluating self-worth. The following
example illustrates my point.
One mom tells Sally, "You sure are the pretty one in this
family." Ruth, listening in, might automatically think, "Well,
if she's the pretty one then I must be the ugly one." The
mom probably didn't realize how much attention she was giving
to Sally and that her comment could be hurtful to Ruth. We don't
realize because it is so ingrained in us to notice looks. "Wow,
you've lost weight. You look great," is a comment made often
in my family. I may enjoy the compliment, but it sure gets me
thinking about my weight. Common thoughts I have are, "Was
I really so fat before? Do people value me more when I'm skinny?"
We cannot choose much they way we look; it seems silly that our
physical appearance contributes so much to feelings of self-worth.
Intelligence
Society also places great emphasis on intelligence. Those with
book smarts are valued highly. These people usually get the best
jobs and make the most money; naturally, we think they must be
better.
Children are
labeled "bright" or "slow." We often fail
to recognize the different kinds of intelligence; we fail to recognize
those with high emotional I.Q's. Those with high emotional I.Q's
are kind, generous, empathetic to others, good listeners, and
the list could go on and on. Since we are all born with different
brains, we are all going to think differently. Basing self-worth
on intelligence is silly as well.
Talents
Society places greater emphasis on certain talents. The MBA basketball
games are played throughout the season, especially during the
playoffs. Popular kids in the high schools are on the football
or bastketball teams. If a child is slower and not as coordinated,
he won't excel in sports. Not everyone is meant to be a sports
star; however, childrens'
self-esteem can suffer greatly when they notice they aren't
good enough at sports. Thus contributing to feelings of low
self esteem.
We all have
different gifts and talents. There are so many different talents
a person could have that I wouldn't have enough space to write
them here. Having talents in only certain areas shouldn't determine
someone's worth. We can't change societies' views of self-worth,
but we can empower children to find out who they are and become
their best selves.
No Junk
As a child, I walked into my third grade classroom and the teacher
had posted on the door, "I know I'm somebody cause God don't
make no junk." I was a shy and insecure child and the saying
stuck with me. As I matured and became more confident, I was aware
of children who felt like I once did. These children don't raise
their hands in class and don't want to be noticed. They listen
to everything people say about them; they are afraid of making
mistakes and not fitting in socially. I want to go to these children
and say, "Hey, your beautiful because you're you. There's
no one else with your unique talents and intelligences. Don't
worry what people say because your special; God don't make no
junk."
Catherine Duke, B.S.
If you have a child with low self esteem
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What
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*Note: Excite
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Testimonials for building low self esteem